I suddenly felt I was such an irresponsible person who made no effort for living but had so much.
It's a kind of feeling that comes to me when I just wake up and sit in bed, not yet rubbing my sleepiness, I see dimmed sunshine shining onto the carpet through the shutters. It comes to me also when I feel philosophical after reading a good novel on a couch but soon realize life still goes on and I still refuse to donate a buck to the beggars on campus--"If they at least do something to earn their money, I will think about throwing a dollar to them." But I do nothing great and have a comfortable life here in Ann Arbor, far away from home.
The guiltiness continually recurs to me, and it always wins.
I guess I am just overwhelmed by the poor grade that I got from my econ class which I consider to be super easy.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
End of Spring semester
Obviously for the chachacha, you have to have a good ab to perfect the precision of the dance. Today (technically yesterday) is the last day of the final week. After a good run to MLB to hand in my last Slavic paper on Yugoslav wars, I started my favorite activity--roaming around the town. I bumped into Silu and found out there was an Argentina Tango workshop taught by one of the dancers in the performance Tango Connection tomorrow. It was interesting because Argentina Tango is very different in form and techniques from all the ballroom dances that I know, but doing ballroom dance definitely helped me pick up the sense of it quicker. I tried to learn the leader part, and it was challenging. But it makes me realize that only if I can do the leader part, can I be a good dancer. But leading is really hard.
My met a cute girl in the workshop and her name is Ariel. No kidding, she is just as sweet as the little mermaid Ariel.
After that I hit the gym and ran a good thirty minutes. But probably getting exhausted from the two hours of dancing, I did not run too fast-- only 2.5 miles in 34 minutes, with many two minutes breaks.
I felt a bit bored when I was practicing chachacha basic at DTS today. I guess I was just being immature, feeling a bit lonely when I saw everyone was dancing with a partner, doing very fancy moves. Undenially, basic is the foundation of everything; from the experience in S&S' general lessons I learned that even the advanced dancers on high division team also have problems in their techniques and basic steps. However, I was still a bit envious that they could do really cool moves... I want to do something fun...
So that's why I think I am immature. "Dance is work" as written on a poster at DTS, I should realize that since I have set a goal and a high standard, I should think of more about precision instead of having fun. I have to hyponotize myself that all these will be paid off-- I will enjoy dancing more as soon as I get much better.
But I doubt if this Spartan training philosophy is healthy.
Sigh...
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
"Wet, Hot Summer" --Jimi Hendrix
After two crazy days of studying and working on my final paper (which is about Yugoslav wars), finally the day of no class comes and kisses me on my forehead as the beautiful Michigan sunshine in summer.
Mo and I threw a BBQ party. It was quite amusing and somehow sad when I saw Eric's bitter response on the event page, but I invited almost everyone regardless they were in town or not with a hope to let them know wherever you are, we always remember you (the biggest cliche I ever wrote on a blog!)
The day before the BBQ, two of us went on an epic grocery shopping, which took us nearly 5 hours and blew off almost 300 dollars from Mo. It still amused me that Mo as a vegetarian threw a supposedly-for-bloodthirsty-meat-lover BBQ party; he told me it was summer so no matter what it took, he was going to have a party.
But I guess he just wanted to see girls in bikinis.
(Gee... I hope Mo is not following this blog privately. I AM JK, Mo!)
The party was fun--swimming, eating BBQ, playing badminton with Mo's skillet and barefoot running. Eric T. initiated the barefoot running based on his theory that barefoot running helps our sneaker-protected feet to develop the muscle of the arch part. When I was running with him, I could feel the veggie chicken patty tumbling in my stomach. But after five minutes, I learned how to run without shoes--"Just imagine that you are like a child." said Eric. Basically you have to run tiptoe because the front part of the feet is the most sensitive part that allows you to respond quickly if stepping on anything that hurts you. Thus, you will have this bouncy motion, and that's why it helps to flex and train your arch muscles.
I am a pretty good runner in CCRB that I can run 3 miles in less than 30 minutes, but I got tired from the barefoot running after 8 minutes. Maybe I should start to do some real outdoor exercising to gain higher stamina for dance.
So every girl was in Daisy's bikinis except for Malinee wearing her own, and Jen being too self-conscious in her beautiful dress.
Unfortunately, a bird drop fell on Malinee's ocean blue saree and ruined it when she and Jen were sunbathing...
I think it's funny.
Yes, we did have a bit hard time when lit up the fire.
Mo is the happiest guy in the world!
...and
This is the most ghetto picture in my whole entire college life. I cracked out when I saw it, and then a line hit my mind from the TV commercial ad of Konica, "I get you, but you can't get me."
I think I put myself into a ridiculous situation.
The pants were Mo's because I was all sweaty after running, and Mo told me that I was bleeding. I thought it was my period blood so I asked for a pair of pants, but it was actually my elbow was cut by some stone. I somehow like the pants, so I wore it to the open dance later, and people found it amusing to see a girl in baggy hip-hop jeans doing waltz.
Mo and I threw a BBQ party. It was quite amusing and somehow sad when I saw Eric's bitter response on the event page, but I invited almost everyone regardless they were in town or not with a hope to let them know wherever you are, we always remember you (the biggest cliche I ever wrote on a blog!)
The day before the BBQ, two of us went on an epic grocery shopping, which took us nearly 5 hours and blew off almost 300 dollars from Mo. It still amused me that Mo as a vegetarian threw a supposedly-for-bloodthirsty-meat-lover BBQ party; he told me it was summer so no matter what it took, he was going to have a party.
But I guess he just wanted to see girls in bikinis.
(Gee... I hope Mo is not following this blog privately. I AM JK, Mo!)
The party was fun--swimming, eating BBQ, playing badminton with Mo's skillet and barefoot running. Eric T. initiated the barefoot running based on his theory that barefoot running helps our sneaker-protected feet to develop the muscle of the arch part. When I was running with him, I could feel the veggie chicken patty tumbling in my stomach. But after five minutes, I learned how to run without shoes--"Just imagine that you are like a child." said Eric. Basically you have to run tiptoe because the front part of the feet is the most sensitive part that allows you to respond quickly if stepping on anything that hurts you. Thus, you will have this bouncy motion, and that's why it helps to flex and train your arch muscles.
I am a pretty good runner in CCRB that I can run 3 miles in less than 30 minutes, but I got tired from the barefoot running after 8 minutes. Maybe I should start to do some real outdoor exercising to gain higher stamina for dance.
So every girl was in Daisy's bikinis except for Malinee wearing her own, and Jen being too self-conscious in her beautiful dress.
Unfortunately, a bird drop fell on Malinee's ocean blue saree and ruined it when she and Jen were sunbathing...
I think it's funny.
Yes, we did have a bit hard time when lit up the fire.
Mo is the happiest guy in the world!
...and
This is the most ghetto picture in my whole entire college life. I cracked out when I saw it, and then a line hit my mind from the TV commercial ad of Konica, "I get you, but you can't get me."
I think I put myself into a ridiculous situation.
The pants were Mo's because I was all sweaty after running, and Mo told me that I was bleeding. I thought it was my period blood so I asked for a pair of pants, but it was actually my elbow was cut by some stone. I somehow like the pants, so I wore it to the open dance later, and people found it amusing to see a girl in baggy hip-hop jeans doing waltz.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
abs, abs, abs
wooooo i can feel my abs are getting more defined. When I press my belly, I can feel them: )
I made a chocolate cherry cake frosted with mixed dark and semi-sweet chocolate and chocolate pudding, and it tasted good. Poor little Daisy works her ass off but still helplessly in debt, so I am going to make her more food.
A group of ballroom friends and I went to Heidelberg tonight. Before that, I ran almost 3 miles in 30 minutes. We had late night dinner at the bar of Miki's. Amit came back from Chicago till Sunday evening, so we celebrated for the return of our big boy. Although the sushi was pretty Americanized, we enjoyed the time together. My tamago and sweet shrimp sashimi had heavenly taste.
There were so many creepers in Heidelberg, unfortunately. People were busy trying to save me from the creepers... 4 times... not fun. Next time I am going to dance with friends only. I had so much fun dancing with Kyle, even though I made so many mistakes and blurred a lot of steps. I need to work on precision.
I made a chocolate cherry cake frosted with mixed dark and semi-sweet chocolate and chocolate pudding, and it tasted good. Poor little Daisy works her ass off but still helplessly in debt, so I am going to make her more food.
A group of ballroom friends and I went to Heidelberg tonight. Before that, I ran almost 3 miles in 30 minutes. We had late night dinner at the bar of Miki's. Amit came back from Chicago till Sunday evening, so we celebrated for the return of our big boy. Although the sushi was pretty Americanized, we enjoyed the time together. My tamago and sweet shrimp sashimi had heavenly taste.
There were so many creepers in Heidelberg, unfortunately. People were busy trying to save me from the creepers... 4 times... not fun. Next time I am going to dance with friends only. I had so much fun dancing with Kyle, even though I made so many mistakes and blurred a lot of steps. I need to work on precision.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Slavik and Karina
hmmm I just cannot stop posting good dance videos on my blog. My another blog is full of dance videos as well. But this one is a blast!
Slavik Kryklyvyy and Karina Smirnoff:)
It is the ultimate dream of all dancers, I guess. I can only wish that I can do half as well as they do-- that's enough for me to ransack all the collegiate champion trophies across the States. What it implies is a non-stop practice and diet.
Also, I felt light-headed when I was looking through the dance partner search page on DanceportInfo.net-- so many guys dancing in Champion are looking for a partner. Whoosh! I gotta practice more and make myself so much better, and then I can say, "Hey, I want to dance with you!"
Slavik Kryklyvyy and Karina Smirnoff:)
It is the ultimate dream of all dancers, I guess. I can only wish that I can do half as well as they do-- that's enough for me to ransack all the collegiate champion trophies across the States. What it implies is a non-stop practice and diet.
Also, I felt light-headed when I was looking through the dance partner search page on DanceportInfo.net-- so many guys dancing in Champion are looking for a partner. Whoosh! I gotta practice more and make myself so much better, and then I can say, "Hey, I want to dance with you!"
First time to teach-- Int'l Waltz I
Wow I just gave my first ballroom lesson, and I was totally freaked out during the teaching. Thanks god that Blake was a good lead, and thus I didn't make too serious mistake. We did half box, whisk and chasse, natural turn finishing, chasse after impetus, and spin turn-- pretty tedious for International Waltz I! I did not really know how to do the impetus, but now I learn it. The most scary part was that I felt people were judging me, and I wanted to make every step correct so not to mislead the students. Plus, I hadn't danced with Blake before, so I was really worried about how to fake to look good together when we teach. But anyway, everything was fine. Whoosh...
I was so excited when I saw Igor came to the open dance. When he asked me why I looked surprised when he asked me to dance, I thought, "Please, because you are Igor Grossman!" Anyway, I will be a good dancer someday-- a really good one! Then, I should not feel surprised or shy to ask anyway to dance, just like what Malinee said, "No one can say no to me!"Dancing with Erik T was fun; he is really good anyway. I love dancing with Kyle Steinkamp; he is such a crazy dude-- he has a crazy heart under his gentleman appearance. Mwa mi man-maid hehehe.
After the open dance, Mojo and I went to the summer festival where they played the Iron Man outdoor at Rackham. The weather was so nice for a walk, and Mojo is cute lolz. We bumped into Stacy, Bob, Julia, and Igor; they were watching the movie there. That was Stacy's last open dance, so it was kinda sad. When they played muchata music at the open dance, I was thinking of Eric Yu-- I only want to dance muchata with Eric!! No one can beat the fun of dancing with muchata with Eric. After we said goodbye to the gang, Mojo walked me home. We got gelato from Rendez-vous, and the things were tasty (and he was cute). But I don't know... I think after those few months, I lost motivation to go for him-- right now I am just so cool off for everyone... I don't even bother to think of getting into a relationship. I kinda like what I am now, single, free, cool, and free. But who knows if it is just because the weather is too nice to think negatively.
After departure, I ate salad and speghetti, at home... guilty. I should have not eaten at such a late time. But the sauce was yummy. It took Matt 4 hours to make it!
I was so excited when I saw Igor came to the open dance. When he asked me why I looked surprised when he asked me to dance, I thought, "Please, because you are Igor Grossman!" Anyway, I will be a good dancer someday-- a really good one! Then, I should not feel surprised or shy to ask anyway to dance, just like what Malinee said, "No one can say no to me!"Dancing with Erik T was fun; he is really good anyway. I love dancing with Kyle Steinkamp; he is such a crazy dude-- he has a crazy heart under his gentleman appearance. Mwa mi man-maid hehehe.
After the open dance, Mojo and I went to the summer festival where they played the Iron Man outdoor at Rackham. The weather was so nice for a walk, and Mojo is cute lolz. We bumped into Stacy, Bob, Julia, and Igor; they were watching the movie there. That was Stacy's last open dance, so it was kinda sad. When they played muchata music at the open dance, I was thinking of Eric Yu-- I only want to dance muchata with Eric!! No one can beat the fun of dancing with muchata with Eric. After we said goodbye to the gang, Mojo walked me home. We got gelato from Rendez-vous, and the things were tasty (and he was cute). But I don't know... I think after those few months, I lost motivation to go for him-- right now I am just so cool off for everyone... I don't even bother to think of getting into a relationship. I kinda like what I am now, single, free, cool, and free. But who knows if it is just because the weather is too nice to think negatively.
After departure, I ate salad and speghetti, at home... guilty. I should have not eaten at such a late time. But the sauce was yummy. It took Matt 4 hours to make it!
Saturday, June 13, 2009
New family members
On the way to my office in ISR, I bought three paperback used books from a 3-dollar-book vendor on South University. The three books are: Walden and Other Writings by H.D. Thoreau, Sea Wolf by Jack London, and Democracy in America by Alexis De Tocqueville. I have read the first book for countless times, but it is still one of my favorite book. I only read the second one in a 24-hour bookstore in Taiwan, where I pulled a whole niter to finish that masterpiece. I always want to read the third one, and finally it's under my possession!
Another thing is that I visited the peony garden in the Arb. There were various spieces of peony and every of them was gorgeous. I could only take pictures with my V3 cellphone because I was going there for sketching, and I did not practice my plan because Eric called me to collect his bookshelf. The bookshelf is now in my room as a ballroom heirloom-- Eric inscribed his name on the side of the shelf.
I missed my mom's birthday, so those pictures were taken for her. I think she will love the peonies.
They said there are fireflies at night, but my friends told me don't go to the arb at night because it is not safe there at night.
I need to figure out how to resize those photos. Nevertheless, the peony garden is worth visiting.
Anyway, I tried to pick up drawing these few days because... I am kind of bored. Life is still very sweet here in A2 during spring time-- I have friends, a house of great location, some money to spend, ballroom, and classes. But sometimes I will think of my family and old friends in Taiwan, and that notion sometime makes me a sentimental idiot.
As you can tell, my drawing is getting so rusty... Arhhh I will think about it later. Let's deal with exams first. Oh, yes, and research.
Another thing is that I visited the peony garden in the Arb. There were various spieces of peony and every of them was gorgeous. I could only take pictures with my V3 cellphone because I was going there for sketching, and I did not practice my plan because Eric called me to collect his bookshelf. The bookshelf is now in my room as a ballroom heirloom-- Eric inscribed his name on the side of the shelf.
I missed my mom's birthday, so those pictures were taken for her. I think she will love the peonies.
They said there are fireflies at night, but my friends told me don't go to the arb at night because it is not safe there at night.
I need to figure out how to resize those photos. Nevertheless, the peony garden is worth visiting.Anyway, I tried to pick up drawing these few days because... I am kind of bored. Life is still very sweet here in A2 during spring time-- I have friends, a house of great location, some money to spend, ballroom, and classes. But sometimes I will think of my family and old friends in Taiwan, and that notion sometime makes me a sentimental idiot.
As you can tell, my drawing is getting so rusty... Arhhh I will think about it later. Let's deal with exams first. Oh, yes, and research.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Dance with me?
The sadness of having no partner struck me last night during practice again. It has been a taboo for me to ever think of since I ended my partnership with Robert this March.
I don't want to leave the team...! I am a hard-working, decent dancer, and I do think I deserve a dedicated partner. He does not need to be good, at least for now, but he has to be diligent (and tall enough...)
Ballroom dance is a partner dance, and that's the plus and minus of it.
I have been thought of that if I cannot find a partner to be on the team for next semester, I will start taking private lesson from S&S and some other ballet or jazz dance lessons. There is no such thing called division in dance-- once you learn how to control your body muscle and follow the "desire and sensuality", you learn it... I love dancing, and this is not going to stop me from dancing. God simply grant me a quirkier road to success, and I know what is in me and what I can achieve.
No tear, no hate; I will try not to let this awareness of "being solo" bring me down again.
Oh I am going to take lessons back home and learn all bronze and silver moves. I seriously know few moves; besides technique, if I want to catch up everyone, I have to learn the moves now.
Hey I know I can be so good!
I don't want to leave the team...! I am a hard-working, decent dancer, and I do think I deserve a dedicated partner. He does not need to be good, at least for now, but he has to be diligent (and tall enough...)
Ballroom dance is a partner dance, and that's the plus and minus of it.
I have been thought of that if I cannot find a partner to be on the team for next semester, I will start taking private lesson from S&S and some other ballet or jazz dance lessons. There is no such thing called division in dance-- once you learn how to control your body muscle and follow the "desire and sensuality", you learn it... I love dancing, and this is not going to stop me from dancing. God simply grant me a quirkier road to success, and I know what is in me and what I can achieve.
No tear, no hate; I will try not to let this awareness of "being solo" bring me down again.
Oh I am going to take lessons back home and learn all bronze and silver moves. I seriously know few moves; besides technique, if I want to catch up everyone, I have to learn the moves now.
Hey I know I can be so good!
Monday, June 8, 2009
Creation of Memory
My message on Facebook to Ichi was replied after a few days, and it wrote,
"...yesterday i was riding on my bike, suddenly, i felt this empty feeling for me as a foreigner being here. no memory no history,
就像一曾薄薄的冰很脆弱.
("just as a thin layer of ice.")
maybe what we do everyday is creating memory. time past and these memory become something beautiful, which make u able to locate yourself...
know what ,this scene we finished swimming class and dry our hair in that走廊 ("hallway") it suddenly apprear to me when i was taking a nap i can really feel the sensation that we put on 黑長襪 腳踏在地上哪種像第一次接觸地面的感覺. ("...I can really fell the sensation that we put on the black long socks, having our toes kissing the floor for the very first time.")"
The intensity of melancholy and simplicity of her words engulfed me, and even now I could not reply her.
Happiness comes from the weight of being. Memory is the root of existence, and being existing is to have weight.
"Do we exist?"
To make an analogy, the letter is like Chopin's Nocturnal.
It's a start of a long far voyage that we must go on; don't you agree with that, Ichi?
Eric is leaving. I wanted to hug him so many times. Such a great man, alas. If he had not been the president, I would have not survived my first year on the team. Everytime I was upset for not having a partner for competitions, he was the one helping me to wire up people.
He still loses count in Mambo after 5 years of dancing.
His number was 300 at Arnold.
He has a look of a prince, and Anastasia the princess. He uses "a piece of shit" for at least 7 times in his e-mail of selling his stuff. Matt Schwartz said it was the funniest email letter.
Stars were in his eyes when he talked about the movie "Euro Trip" of the scene when the character found "liberal sex service" in Amsterdam.
He is our hero.
"...yesterday i was riding on my bike, suddenly, i felt this empty feeling for me as a foreigner being here. no memory no history,
就像一曾薄薄的冰很脆弱.
("just as a thin layer of ice.")
maybe what we do everyday is creating memory. time past and these memory become something beautiful, which make u able to locate yourself...
know what ,this scene we finished swimming class and dry our hair in that走廊 ("hallway") it suddenly apprear to me when i was taking a nap i can really feel the sensation that we put on 黑長襪 腳踏在地上哪種像第一次接觸地面的感覺. ("...I can really fell the sensation that we put on the black long socks, having our toes kissing the floor for the very first time.")"
The intensity of melancholy and simplicity of her words engulfed me, and even now I could not reply her.
Happiness comes from the weight of being. Memory is the root of existence, and being existing is to have weight.
"Do we exist?"
To make an analogy, the letter is like Chopin's Nocturnal.
It's a start of a long far voyage that we must go on; don't you agree with that, Ichi?
Eric is leaving. I wanted to hug him so many times. Such a great man, alas. If he had not been the president, I would have not survived my first year on the team. Everytime I was upset for not having a partner for competitions, he was the one helping me to wire up people.
He still loses count in Mambo after 5 years of dancing.
His number was 300 at Arnold.
He has a look of a prince, and Anastasia the princess. He uses "a piece of shit" for at least 7 times in his e-mail of selling his stuff. Matt Schwartz said it was the funniest email letter.
Stars were in his eyes when he talked about the movie "Euro Trip" of the scene when the character found "liberal sex service" in Amsterdam.
He is our hero.
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